The collapse after the shops isn't your personality

The version of you that falls apart the second you get home isn’t the real you.

It’s the performance finally running out.

Here’s what that performance looks like, all day, without you noticing:

1. Watching faces to check you’re landing right, and adjusting on the fly.
2. Holding back what you actually wanted to say, in case it comes out wrong.
3. Managing your own face, your eye contact, your tone, the whole time you’re with people.

It has a name. Masking.

And it runs on the same limited tank as your focus, your patience, and your tolerance for noise. By the time you’re home, there’s nothing left for lunch, the text back, or deciding anything at all.

That’s not you failing at normal life. That’s a system that’s been flat out for hours with no break.

One thing you can try this week: after anything social, ask yourself one question. Was I performing there? Don’t change anything yet. Just start noticing where it costs you most.

The full breakdown, including five ways to stop running on empty, is here.​

Nicole Robinson​ Principal and Clinical Psychologist, ProActive Psychology ​proactivepsychology.com.au​